Let's Not Nickname Trump

A recent (and amusing) Guardian article reported that Fran Lebowitz thinks that the worst thing about Trump is that he is a moron. According to Lebowitz, “Everyone says he is crazy – which maybe he is – but the scarier thing about him is that he is stupid. You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don’t.”

 I agree that Trump is dumb. He is, after all, the guy that wondered why nobody knows what the Civil War was about, who didn’t understand the China-North Korea relationship, and who was surprised that revamping America’s health care system was going to be complicated. And let’s not overlook the fact that in the booming early 1990s, when competent entrepreneurs were making fortunes everywhere, he lost over a billion dollars. Now that is some serious stupid.

 But I have to disagree with Ms. Lebowitz on one point. Dumb though Trump may be, his real problem is not his stupidity, but his contempt for democracy. This was most recently evident in his refusal to comply with the law and the Constitution – by obstructing justice, for example, and refusing to turn over his tax records to Congress.

 And, as though to prove to any remaining doubters how thoroughly scornful of democracy he is, Trump went on to entertain Hungary’s authoritarian strongman Viktor Orban in the White House this week. Note that both President Bush and President Obama refused to associate with Orban. Why, I’d like to know, should America honor a xenophobic autocrat, one who has made it a point of dismantling Hungary’s democracy?

 In an NPR interview, Princeton University professor Kim Lane Scheppele pointed out that Trump and Orban are similar in the way that each whips up “fears and nationalist sentiments.” Orban has received a cold shoulder from Europe’s democracies, but he nevertheless continues to use his anti-immigrant posturing “to inspire nationalists across the world.” And now Trump is helping him.

 So, add Orban to the growing list of thuggish authoritarians that Trump likes to cozy up to, a list that already includes Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un and Jair Bolsonaro.

               Viktor Orban and Vladimir Putin

Of course, Trump, in addition to being stupid and authoritarian is also dishonest, vulgar, misogynistic, and bigoted. He has so many unpresidential qualities that it’s surprising nobody has come up with a nickname for him that’s caught on with the public. It may be that Trump’s critics consider it childish and undignified to slap a nickname on a rival. I know that’s the way I feel. But what if I weren’t constrained by my sense of decorum – could I come up with an appropriate nickname? Of course, I could. Just to prove it, I will offer here a partial list of the nicknames that I could hurl at Trump were I not an individual of stupendous dignity:

Donny Dimwit

Donny Dumbass

Donny the Dictator

Donny Der Fuhrer

Donny Der Amerikanische Fuhrer

Donny Der Habderheadupinderass Fuhrer

Donny Dummkopf

Donny Groin Grabber

Klan Krony Trump

Putin’s Puppet

Vlad’s Little Bitch

Orangeman

Orange Blob

El Blobbo Naranjo

Lyin’ Trump

Lyin’ Loser Trump

 
Swamp Shyster

 

Dirty Don

Don the Con

Crooked Con Don

The Undapper Don

Capo di tutti Chumpi

And so on. But these are all nicknames that I decline to bestow. Because, you know, dignity and decorum.