Not all Americans are assholes. I feel it is important to insist on this point, knowing, as I do, that there are those who would dispute it.
Granted, our president is an asshole, as are some of the people he associates with, for example, Donald Trump, Jr., Steve Bannon, Steve Miller, Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Corey Lewandowski, Paul Manafort, Rob Porter, Mike Pence, and…okay, pretty much everyone he associates with.
But please note that Donald Trump was not the popular choice of the voters in the last presidential election. Most Americans did not vote for him. Only 62,985,134 did. The rest of us are innocent!
Really, if it weren’t for the quirkiness of the electoral college system, along with at least one other factor (or, what is known in Moscow as a “фактор”), Donald Trump would not be in the White House today.
Recently Trump has argued that many of our school teachers should start packing heat. Yes, go ahead and read that sentence again; it is what I meant to write. And it is true.
You may well ask, “What kind of incredible asshole would want to see teachers and suicidal maniacs having shootouts in the halls and classrooms of public schools???”
The answer of course is a violence-prone, Trumpian asshole. Or the kind of asshole that thinks the NRA, in its relentless quest to promote more gun sales in the U.S., needs a little boost from the White House. And this kind of asshole, by the way, is characteristic of practically the entire Republican Party today, the party that has decided that ethics are bullshit.
It is worth noting (as many others have) that every country in the world has mentally disturbed individuals and every country has law enforcement officials who sometimes fail at their job – as did the deputy who declined to enter Stoneman Douglas High School to confront the maniac and his automatic weapon. But not every country is awash with automatic weapons. That’s just us. But it doesn’t make us all assholes! Only the politicians who strive to put automatic weapons at everyone’s fingertips are assholes.
America actually has some truly amazing people, people who are the opposite of assholes. In support of this statement I submit to you the students who have been leading the discussion about our need for better gun control. These young people are incredible – and they’re Americans! See what I mean?
So please, World, don’t give up on us. We will be normal again someday, I promise you. And when we are, it will be because of people like these young Americans - who are striving with all their hearts to make our world better.