Letter to the World

Dear World,

Not all Americans are deluded souls or ethically challenged losers. I feel it is important to insist on this point, believing, as I do, that there are those who would dispute it.

Granted, our president is an ethically challenged loser, as are some of the people he associates with, for example, Donald Trump, Jr., Steve Bannon, Steve Miller, Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Corey Lewandowski, Paul Manafort, Rob Porter, Mike Pence, and…okay, pretty much everyone he associates with.

But please note that Donald Trump was not the popular choice of the voters in the last presidential election. Most Americans did not vote for him. Only 62,985,134 did. The rest of us are innocent!
 

Really, if it weren’t for the quirkiness of the electoral college system, along with at least one other factor (or, what is known in Moscow as a “фактор”), Donald Trump would not be in the White House today.

Recently Trump has argued that many of our school teachers should start packing heat. Yes, go ahead and read that sentence again; it is what I meant to write. And it is true. Trump really thinks it would be a terrific idea to have America’s teachers stride into the classroom with their shootin’ irons at the ready.
 

You may well ask, “What kind of incredible loser would want to see teachers and suicidal maniacs having shootouts in the halls and classrooms of public schools???”
 

The answer of course is a violence-prone or ethically challenged loser. The kind of loser that thinks the NRA, in its relentless quest to promote more profits for America’s gun manufacturers, needs a little boost from the White House. And this kind of loser, by the way, is characteristic of practically all the Republicans in Congress today, the Republicans being party that has decided that ethics are bullshit.
 

It is worth noting (as many others have) that every country in the world has mentally disturbed individuals, and every country has law enforcement officials who sometimes fail at their job – as did the deputy who declined to enter Stoneman Douglas High School last week to confront that school’s maniac killer. But not every country is awash with automatic weapons. That’s just us. This doesn’t make us all losers! Only the politicians who strive to put automatic weapons at everyone’s fingertips are losers.
 

America actually has some truly amazing people, people who are the opposite of losers. In support of this statement I submit to you the students who have been leading the discussion about our need for better gun control. These young people are incredible – and they’re Americans! See what I mean?
 

So please, World, don’t give up on us. We will be normal again someday, I promise you. And when we are, it will be because of people like these young Americans - who are striving with all their hearts to make our world better.
 

Sincerely,
Culture World

                       Photo: Newsweek