My associate, Mr. Fulano de Tal, reports from a source that has on occasion not proven unreliable, that Roger Ailes has been blocking Donald Trump's attempts to tweet about Hillary's health. According to the source, the following were the top ten of Trump's attempted tweets:
Just like I said, Hillary is sick + weak. But I’m the strongest + healthiest man who ever lived. And I can get a doctor’s note to prove it!
Rog. Ailes says no tweeting now. Hide my real self. No way! My real self: amazing – I have the best words. Part of my incredulous geniosity.
Hillary is so weak and sick. I bet she is barfing right now. Ever seen a woman throw up? Big slimy gobs of puke. Disgusting!
I have never thrown up. Except when I was a baby and my mamma burped me on her shoulder. And then it was the best puke.
I think HRC had been drinking too. She was staggering like a drunkard – just like this; I’ll show you what I mean, watch me in this video!
[Sorry, video not available at this time – Culture World editor]
FDR’s wheelchair, Ike’s heart attacks, JFK’s back. America has had enough of these weak losers. And staggering Hillary - I will crush her!
I will NEVER get sick. Believe me.
I have a penis and it is huge. Believe me.
Plus a retweet from Trump’s friend, Putin:
@VladimirtheGreat That woman, Hheellary, so styooppeed + so week. Nyekhorosho! I laff at her – Hha-hha-hha!